Hunting for the light
I haven’t written a blog in a long time. I do have written but that is for now, only for myself and hopefully for the book I am writing. The book is called: ‘Jakten på lysen’ , Hunting for the light. I love that title, for it is exactly what I am doing here. With my photography, as well as in my inner world. Therefore the mørketid was such a important time for me. The dark helped me to connect to some really dark, sticky places : old patterns, thoughts and behaviours. And all I could do was bring it to the light. Which I didn’t know until the moment I sat down with my drum, to welcome the sun back, the 22th of january. I am not consciously busy with my inner world, but it happens. Just by living here, being here and being open to all that comes my way. And most of all following the moment. That is pure luxury, to be able to follow what is and not having to step in the ‘must do’s ‘. Which, being me, I do as well of course :-).
Right now there is a storm raging, again. But I finally see the sun ! For the sun is above the horizon now for more than 2 weeks. So the light has returned. The first week, we couldn’t see it here because the sun did not get above the mountains in the south (see picture above, at the exact moment the sun came above the horizon, but not over the mountain). And last week,when the sun was supposed to get over the mountains, we had storm, snow and lots of clouds. But today, the sun is much stronger now and peeped for a few moments through the clouds. Spectacular! Unfortunately, it is no weather to sit or even walk outside and get the sun in my face. But that will come. Even though today, because the light was so beautiful, I did get outside with my warm clothes over my pyjama’s and tried to take pictures of the raging wind, drifting snow and the warm deep light of the dawn (8.30 am). But it was sooooo cold because of the wind. I could hardly keep my camera still and I almost froze my fingers. Which I did not realise until I got back inside and the feeling returned. Gosh, that hurts !!
The sun is now, after 2 weeks, already ‘up’ for 5 hours. That goes so fast. Half of May we will already have 24 hours of sun. And as it goes, for me, after the light or the laughter returns, I forget the dark (times). Was it dark for two months? You’ll have to remember that even on the darkest day (21th of December), there still is some light. So it is not as if I have been sitting in the dark for two months. And isn’t that a beautiful metaphor? How dark everything seems, there is always a reflection of the light somewhere. All you have to do is look for that reflection and you know which way to go. That’s how it worked for me, during mørketid. Yes it was dark outside and yes I did look at some pretty murky places inside of me. But always there was this glimmer of light, the promise that whatever I felt at that moment, the light was still there. And it would come to me, if only I was patient and knew to look in the right way: to the light....
So this is not at all what I was going to write about! I was planning to describe some of my more or less amusing winter adventures. And maybe I still will do that. But for now this is what comes to me, so I will follow that. I am not going to worry whether this is OK, entertaining or interesting enough. Even though I still feel this old worry in my belly, I will look at the light and stand for who I am.
With love from the lighthouse,
Marielle & Bizou
I arrived back home three days ago, after three days of traveling from the South of France. My half year in that sacred bubble of magic is over and I am trying to adjust to life in the west of Holland.
It is wonderful to connect with your energies and I will Skype with you soon.
Love love love from Aysha
Love hearing from you, hearing your insights, and hearing of your near-Arctic adventures.
We've all spent time "sitting in the dark" at one time or another, I believe. . .
Wat heerlijk om jouw verhalen weer te lezen. Ik vind je foto's zo magisch, het lijkt net alsof ik de sfeer hier helemaal in NL kan voelen (wat ook zo is haha). Nogmaals dank dat ik mag meegenieten van jouw belevenissen en jouw mooie innerlijke reis.
Dikke knuffel, Petra
Gaat mijn hart van open bij het zien van al dat moois. We hebben hier ook wel mooie luchten maar wat je laat zien daar is onvergelijkbaar.
Je hebt er nogal wat voor over gehad maar dan heb je ook wat! Dank je voor het delen.
Geniet er nog lang van.
Ik stuur je wat lentezon van het eiland en een warme knuffel.
Ik lees je bloq nu pas (ben er eerder door allerlei persoonlijke omstandigheden niet aan toegekomen) en herken heel veel van wat je beschrijft over 'leven in het donker/de duisternis' en dat het Licht dan vroeg of laat zich toch weer laat zien, ook al denk je dat het voor altijd (!) donker zal blijven/voelen; dat biedt hoop en de natuur leeft ons dat voor en laat het ons letterlijk zien én ervaren. Dankjewel voor dit mooie en aansprekende inspirerende bericht, dat geeft de burger weer moed.... En je titel 'hunting for the Light' vind ik ook subliem!! Hoop dat je boek er gaat komen, ben héél benieuwd lieverd naar al je (bijzondere) ervaringen daar in nature. Fijn om een stukje met mee te kunnen be-leven... Thanks! dikke knuf ook voor Bizou xxx Mirjam